Even though a good number of these Beta male types would ideally like to be married and raise a family, many of these now consciously aware Beta males are declaring that they have no desire to propose marriage to a woman who they feel are just looking to exploit them for their financial resources, their accommodating and entertaining personality, and their platonic companionship and emotional empathy and support.1
– Alan Roger Currie, The Beta Male Revolution
[Author’s Note: I wrote this article as part of a Herd Immunity Chapter, “Toxic Masculinity Isn’t Real” in the fall of 2020 when I was still a denizen of the Male Improvement Space. I left the formatting of this article intact but removed some of the teeth, as I’m no longer in that woman-hating space. However, my stance on the video remains the same: Miss Lahren makes a couple excellent points. She’s right that there’s a masculinity crisis with Western men, but taking dating advice from women is the epitome of a “prejudiced party.” However, shaming men for not being on the same marriage timeline as her and her friends will just drive men away faster.]
In August 2020, Outspoken conservative Tomi Lahren once again made infamy by making a Facebook live video itemizing her grievances towards men. In a video titled “PSA for Boyish Men,” Lahren takes it upon herself to call men to the carpet for not manning up for her and her friends.2 In all honesty, Ms. Lahren’s grievances towards men highlight the dangers of women’s attempts to soften men, or as she calls it, “the summer of canceling boys.” Ms. Lahren seemingly agrees that there is a “pussification” of men due to feminism, and she believes that her message will inspire men to grow up. Despite ardent claims that she is not a feminist, she resorts to the same shaming tactics that many of her feminist counterparts use when they wish to manipulate men into behaving a certain way.
By demonizing any behavior that could be labeled as masculinity, women have taken successive generations of men and made them believe it is wrong to have desires and to be leaders. I find it hilarious when women spend their younger years chasing “the bad boy” or “the player” archetypes and then get mad when they get played. Spinsterdom is a cruel, fickle mistress, and posting passive-aggressive memes and embittered male bashing on social media is proof of a defeated female. No matter how often she acts like a boss babe, any man she’s interested in sees through her subterfuge, especially if this woman has another man’s kids in tow. First, a couple of observations about Ms. Lahren:
- She has had some plastic surgery that elevated her position in the sexual marketplace.3 Although she has publicly denied allegations that she had plastic surgery done, it doesn’t pass the “eye test” with this author. I don’t state this as a judgment but to draw attention to it. It should be noted that because of her new face and her job at Fox News, Ms. Lahren is elevated into a top-tier female by societal standards. I should also note that if mouthy, entitled blondes are your type, move to Texas, where they are ubiquitous.Thanks for reading Herd Immunity! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.
- Because of her beautification, dating history, and job, Ms. Lahren believes herself worthy of a top-tier man. She also believes her other “boss babe” friends deserve high-tier males.
- When top-tier males are no longer interested in her but instead are interested in younger women with fewer hang-ups and desires to settle down, these women can’t handle being rejected. Society assured them that when they were ready to get married and have a family, these men would line up like Princess Jasmine, choosing suitors in Aladdin.
- Ms. Lahren was engaged to Brandon Fricke, an American soccer player and an independent candidate who ran for Congress in the 33rd Congressional District. All reports of the engagement were called off despite the situation as amicable. However, this is an interesting paradigm: Lahren and Fricke ended their engagement in early 2020, six months before Lahren’s video surfaced. The reason cited for their engagement ending was “Tomi was not ready to settle down.”4 I wonder what changed in the six months leading up to this rant?
- Tomi was engaged to a top-tier man (professional athlete and aspiring politician), yet she wasn’t ready to settle down. However, in the video, she wastes no time calling boyish men to the carpet for their fickleness or lack of desire to “make plans.”
- Despite her claims that she’s not trying to sound like a feminist, she “slut- shames” the younger, looser women (she calls them “Thot-ianas,” which I find amusing) who are stealing the top-tier men from her “Boss Babe” friends.
The irony is lost on her that when she wasn’t ready to settle down, her fiancé should’ve understood. But when she was prepared to settle down, men were supposed to line up for her and her friends.
I want to outline Ms. Lahren’s points and offer my commentary because, although the tone of her video makes her sound like an entitled princess on an episode of MTV’s My Super Sweet 16, she makes some valid criticisms about the current state of masculinity.
Here’s the full video so you can follow along
In her video, she states that all of her friends are “between the ages of 24-36, are all attractive, and have something going on.” If we take her at face value (plastic surgery pun), we should assume these women are “boss babes” deserving of only the finest men. Yet, all these women seemingly have an issue finding men. She also states that because these women are in different states and have different body types and ages, it’s not the women’s fault for the type of men they choose. It’s the men’s fault for being the way they are.
Ms. Lahren has concluded that men aged 20 to about 55, as high as 60, are trash. Despite her conversations with her mother, it is not just the men in certain cities (she lists Dallas, Nashville, and Los Angeles as hypothetical examples). She states that many men in this age range don’t know how to treat women (I would agree, though I would disagree with her ideal way to “treat” women) and do not know how to pay attention. I would agree with that as well. As stated numerous times in Herd Immunity: Societal Deprogramming, millennials and Gen-Z males have less sex than previous generations.5 Their inability to “treat” women correctly goes a long way in backing up this stat. I’d argue that if men between the ages of 20-60 are trash, as Ms. Lahren states, she might have to go the Anna Nicole Smith route to find a “quality man,” as a mid-20s pro-athlete and aspiring politician couldn’t cut the mustard.
Her first question to men is, “are you single?” This is valid, as many men lie about their relationship status and look to cheat without getting caught. Fair criticism. However, she doesn’t realize that women have no problems sharing a high-value man. Women are better at “compartmentalizing” the relationships with the men in their lives. Women keep men in their lives for attention, as friends, as lovers, and as long-term romantic potential (boyfriends and husbands). If society allows women to compartmentalize their suitors into roles, why can’t men do the same? I argue that most men don’t because the average man has few options. Although she states this video calls out men, she calls out women for not asking their prospective partners if they are unattached. Some women are complicit in their deception.
Her second point is that women don’t want to be a man’s pen pal. I agree 100%, and I’ve made this mistake many times. Stop randomly texting women unless you plan to meet up in real life. Why are you giving these women free attention if you’re not meeting? Ask her out, schedule the date, and meet up. Otherwise, you have no reason to be speaking to her. Also, Lahren states that if you have a woman who is okay with just being your pen pal, she probably already has a boyfriend or husband. Women do love to tattle on each other.
Within this point, Ms. Lahren also states that men must make a plan BEFORE they see the woman. I agree with this to an extent. Sometimes plans fall through. Sometimes men double-book, and one is a contingency. Sorry, but women do the same thing to men. We’ve all gotten the midnight “What are you doing?” text from a member of the opposite sex. If you choose to answer, that’s on you. When women stop being flighty and ghosting prospective dates, men will stop double-and triple-booking dates.
I agree that feminists “that look like Lena Dunham [sic]” mislead men. I agree that most women aren’t helping men by not telling them what they want. This is why I urge men to be honest with themselves and their partners about their desire. Once you reach a certain age (as Ms. Lahren is finding out), playing games becomes tiresome.
Her third bullet point, “Value, Value,” gets to the crux of her argument. She shames certain women for having nothing going on in their lives, and she’s right. Many women in western countries bring nothing to the relationship; they sit around, smoke weed, shop online, and binge-watch streaming platforms. However, she asserts that she and her friends have things going on (“Boss Babes”), and these go-getters shouldn’t be treated the same way as the ambitionless “Thot-ianas.” She asserts that high-value women will be insulted if men want to date both the “Thot-ianas” and the “Boss Babes.” How dare men enjoy a plurality of options?
Ms. Lahren describes these ambitionless girls as “…happy going through the motions of life, not really super ambitious, hasn’t really found herself yet, doesn’t really have a whole lot going on other than she’s pretty…” Whoops. She told on herself again. She claims to be a “Boss Babe” and has ambition, yet simultaneously chastises men for wanting to date these “only pretty” girls. So Ms. Lahren has ambition and wants to be a career woman, but then is mad when high-value guys don’t want to date career women. Interestingly, a career woman never makes a man her top priority. Yet, men who go after “Only pretty” (younger) women are wrong for not making valuable women their top priority. She then states that even if her friends go up in age, “5, 10, or even 15 years, those men just want to be with 21-year-olds that have nothing going on.”
This dovetails nicely because Ms. Lahren needs help understanding what I have said several times in Herd Immunity. Once a man knows he has a plurality of options, why would he want to chase a “Boss Babe” when he can have no-strings fun with the 21-year-old with nothing going on? You’d think that she would understand this, as I’m sure she dated plenty of older men in college and never saw them as anything more than a quick fling. She argues that she hopes these men would want a woman who has her life together for conversation’s sake. I’ve met plenty of young, vapid women who couldn’t string two sentences together. However, because Ms. Lahren can only see the world through her own experiences (solipsism), she wrongly assumes that men want communication in a relationship. In a long-term relationship, the desire to connect intellectually is essential. But, as she rightly concluded, men are not seeking the “Thot-iana” types for long-term girlfriends.
Her fourth point is consistency. A man is cool initially, and after a few days pass, he quits making plans, fades in and out, and seemingly talks to other “Thot-ianas.” This is where her argument comes full circle. Again, this is just speculation, but it seems that these “Boss Babes” met a dude that sparked their attraction, they hooked up, and then the guys caught wind of their personality and bailed. Lahren and her friends fail to consider that there is probably something within these women that the men saw that changed their desire to see them again. Again there’s nothing wrong with a plurality of sexual options as long as you’re honest about it. Men will likely reciprocate when women stop ghosting men and disappearing after a few dates or a hook-up.
Her last point is her best: “don’t be a bitch!” Don’t circle back if you leave a woman or decide she isn’t worth your time. Also, don’t be mad if she isn’t interested in you. I made this mistake in my dating life as well. Once they are your exes, please leave them in your past. Ms. Lahren states that she and her friends are high-value because they work hard, try to look cute, and have standards. I agree that if you’re weak or complacent in your efforts to seduce her (especially in the bedroom), women will quickly move on from you. That is your fault, not hers.
In closing, Ms. Lahren confirms what many women have stated for years: To have a shot with high-value women, “you don’t necessarily have to be Brad Pitt, you don’t have to be famous, you don’t even really have to make a lot of money or have a really fantastic job.” She lists that you have to be determined, successful, and goal-driven, you can handle a woman with standards (see the previous bullet point), and you’ll put in the effort. She wraps up the video by stating it will be a cold day in hell before she or her friends chase a man. Fortunately, I have lots of time to watch and see if she eats her words. A woman only has a finite quantity of eggs, so I wish her the best in her search for a Tradcon who loves Boss Babes and ignores “Thot-ianas.”
Despite her initial attempt to call out boyish men, I believe she did the opposite. Ms. Lahren has revealed that women spend their early years taking Cheryl Sandburg’s advice of dating the wrong types of men, only to realize that when they’re ready to have a family, the men they want aren’t interested in them. Suppose women can be honest with themselves in a moment of quiet reflection. Nearly every woman can think of a guy from her past who would have made a great long-term boyfriend, husband, or father to her children. However, he was too busy playing the field or focusing on her career. I’m not demonizing either. You do you, Boss Babes. However, women must understand that society lied to them. You can have it all, just not at the same time. Biology and nature will win out in the end.
Unfortunately for Ms. Lahren, she learned that her dream guy was no longer interested in her. Fortunately, plenty of conservative men out there would line up for the opportunity to have a family with her. As I said, she will have a plurality of suitors, but I’m sure she will undoubtedly settle. Despite what society tells these women, high-value men do not want to date mouthy “Boss Babes.” Given a choice, men will go for younger, hotter, and more fun women that don’t attempt to shame them. To summarize Miss Lahren’s plight, I’ll cite my “mentor-in-mouthpiece,” the late Alan Roger Currie:
Instead, in today’s society, Beta male types are either flat-out ignoring women, or they are treating 99% of the women they meet as if they are more of the kinky, promiscuous ‘slut’ types that are only worthy of providing them with an enjoyable and satisfying time in bed. Consequently, the vast majority of Beta male types are simply no longer interested in meeting a so-called ‘good woman,’ dating for two or three years, proposing to her, and then marrying her and raising a family with her.6
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1 Currie, Alan Roger. 2016. The Beta Male Revolution: Why Many Men Have Totally Lost Interest in Today’s Society. Chicago: Mode One Multimedia, 35.
2 Lahren, Tomi. 2020. “PSA for Boyish Men.” Facebook Live. August 4, 2020. Accessed May 18, 2021. https://www.facebook.com/TomiLahren/videos/327542515104362
3 Wikiabio. 2020. “Tomi Lahren Plastic Surgery- Everything You Need to Know!” WikiaBio. May 5, 2020. Accessed May 18, 2021. https://wikiabio.com/tomi-lahren-plastic-surgery/
4 West, Ryan Parry. 2020. “Tomi Lahren Calls off Engagement Because She ‘Wasn’t Ready.’” Mail Online. April 29, 2020. Accessed May 18, 2021. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8269291/Tomi-Lahren- calls-engagement-fianc-wasnt-ready-settle-down.html.
5 Kibbe, Kayla. 2020. “Young People Are Having Less Sex than Ever.” InsideHook. June 15, 2020. Accessed May 16, 2021. https://www.insidehook.com/daily_brief/sex-and-dating/young-people-are-having-less-sex- than-ever.
6 Currie, 136.